Trust Issues

So I just happened to be deleting most of my myspace messages, when I came across one that I never read. Now pardon me if things are outta place, because its super early right now! Anyways it was from the girlfriend of a basketball player I used to chill with lol. I cant and wont say his name, but to some its pretty obvious, and he was a really great guy. Nothing popped off like that, because I was younger and he was way older than me, and I cant even say where we met. To be honest I guess I could, but I choose to keep it a secret. You can try to go to my comments, because some of his are still there, but he deleted his account after some problems he was having with the team. Haha to you. But when I read the message I was thinking damn. Are these girlfriends really in a relationship with basketball players for them, or the fact of their salary. Just seemed to me that she wanted to keep a track on her man so no one will fuck with her money lol. She honestly had every right to, because it did seem pretty obvious lol, but it was just chill mode. We felt each other and to be real he was the only dude that just kept it real. So I wish him the best of luck, as for his girl...I feel bad for her lol. I have no clue if she went with him or what, but eventually she will catch on...That message she sent just brings me to the point that its so hard to trust people and their true intentions with you. Half the time its pretty obvious, but what about the other half. You cant spot it until they fuck you over and its too late.

Anyways...I have to schedule a same day appointment at Kaiser so they can do test, before I actually get the help. Like wth, I know my ass needs help and I dont need a stupid test that tells me all the bad things about myself. I know them already lol. Im glad my mom has finally listened to me and I guess my cry for help, because Im seeing that all the bad things thats happened to me are coming back. I cant hide it anymore. Life has never been easy on me and Ive always tried to hide the fact that it hasnt. I just hate when people give bullshit excuses to why their life is so hard, and Im sitting back like really. Try walking in my shoes, or homies shoes. Ive forced a wall between me and others, and Im hoping I can finally get help with that.